How Santa Knows IF You've Been Good

Sung to the tune of...
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You
better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus is tapping,
Your
phone.
He's buggin your room,
He's reding your
mail,
He's keeping a file
And runnin a tail
Santa Claus is
tapping
Your phone
He hears you in the bedroom
Surveills you out of
doors
And if that doesn't get the goods
Then he'll use
provocateurs.
So you mustn't assume
That you are secure
On
Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door
Santa Claus is tapping
Your
phone
(Supposedly written for and sung at a U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Legal Counsel, Christmas party during the Carter Administration.) --Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law
While I always get a chuckle out of reading this, I just want to assure everyone that I DO NOT go around kicking in people's doors.
Merry Christmas and God Bless,